Eww! That's Disgusting!
by Shaynie1
Summary: Chapter three "The Interview" is up. - It's up to Piccolo, Master Roshi, and Vegeta to tell the kids about
1. Piccolo's Turn

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Fandom: DRAGONBALL Z

Series: No

Author/E-mail: Shaynie (GokunVegeta02@aol.com or goku_n_vegeta_02@aol.com)

Title: Eww! That's Disgusting!

Rating: PG-13 (to be safe.)

Characters: Master Roshi, Goku, Piccolo, Gohan, Vegeta, Trunks, Goten.

Summary: It's exactly what the title says.

Spoilers: A small reference to my other story "Piccolo's Apology". You don't have to read that first to understand this. 

Spoilers to the show: None that I am aware of.

Notes: None

Warnings: Discussion of sexual activities.

Part: 1/3

Archive: Fanfiction.Net, and to my site which is up. you can find it at http://www.geocities.com/goku_n_vegeta_02/

Thanks To: Everyone who reviewed "Piccolo's Apology." I hope you enjoy this one and please review as always.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in the Harry DBZ fandom. All

the rights belong to Akira Toriyama and Funimation.

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Gohan had had a long, hard day of training with Piccolo and he was exhausted. What he wouldn't do to be able to crawl into his nice warm bed at home and sleep late into the next day.

The small boy had a smile on his face as he reached his and Piccolo's campsite. The Namek had promised him cheeseburgers for dinner and ice-cream sundaes for desert, then ghost stories before bed. Things had been much better between him and his teacher since they had made up, Piccolo even slept next to him every night and would hug him close. (Of course Gohan was sworn to secrecy because if word got out that the almighty Piccolo had gone soft... Well, you get the picture)

Gohan could smell the delicious food that Piccolo was cooking and ran to find out if there was anything he could do to help.

***

"Thanks for dinner, Mr. Piccolo." Gohan said smiling in the dark, it was now very late at night.

"No problem, kid." The Namek told his student, he sighed contentedly; it felt so incredible to be loved (at least that is the word he thought he was looking for). "Get some rest, long day of training tomorrow."

There was several minutes of silence, Gohan wasn't as tired as he thought he was so he decided to ask a question that he had been curious about for a while now.

"What's the difference between boys and girls?" He blurted out, he felt Piccolo tense in his arms.

"Why are you asking me?" The older man demanded sharply; why couldn't this be Goku he was asking?

"Because my Dad is gone and you're here and I trust you to tell me the truth." The boy with crazy hair replied calmly; he didn't see what the big deal was.

"I really don't think that I am the right person to tell you this kind of *thing*." The older man responded, he could feel Gohan shaking his head. Piccolo caved. "We've got penis' between our legs and girls don't." There, that wasn't so bad, he was blushing brilliantly tho.

"What do girls have?" He asked curiously; again Piccolo tensed. "You already told me that much..."

~Why can't you tell him 'no'?~ The Namek thought in annoyance. Recognizing his true feelings for the boy had really had an impact on the rest of his life. "Fine... Girls have vaginas. No more questions! Good-night."

"Just one more?" When he recieved no answer Gohan took that as an 'go ahead'. "Where do babies come from?"

~No, no, no!~ The Namek thought frantically. ~NO!~ Gohan must have noticed Piccolo's silent fear because he poked him in the side, jolting Piccolo back to reality. "ARGH! GOKU DO YOU HEAR WHAT HE'S ASKING ME! HE'S ASKING ME TO TELL HIM WHERE BABIES COME FROM! GOKU! YOU OWE ME BIG TIME, AND DON'T YOU THINK THAT I WON'T COLLECT EITHER!"

"MR. PICCOLO, WHAT'S WRONG?" The small boy asked worriedly; he knew his father wasn't here so why was he screaming to him? "I DON'T SEE MY DADDY ANYWHERE, ARE YOU FEELING OKAY?"

Piccolo took deep breaths to calm himself; no luck, so he let out another scream; Gohan began to shake him frantically.

"KID!" He shouted and grabbed the boy to make him stop. "Why do you have to ask me? If I tell you, you have to promise me no more questions and that you'll talk to your father."

"If you're that embarrassed to tell me than you don't have to. I'm asking you because I once read that these kinds of questions should be discussed with someone you trust." There he goes with the pitiful act again! "I'll wait until my dad comes home if that's what you really want..."

~Don't let this affect you, you are Piccolo the almighty!~ Piccolo scolded himself, he knew that this was his only chance to avoid the whole discussion; and why did Gohan have to talk like that, using 'discussion' rather than 'talk'; he would have to have a word with Chi-chi when they got back. "Alright, alright I'll tell you."

"Yea!" Gohan listened attentively while Piccolo explained.

"When a man and a woman love each other they find ways to show it..." Piccolo trailed off trying to figure out the best way to explain it; it was unnerving how Gohan listened so carefully (*shudder*). "Well they do this thing called sex or making love or screwing... There are allot of different names for it but you get my point? Anyway: to make love the man has to insert his penis into the woman's vagina and then they er... move together and well, he ejaculates inside of her and-"

"What's 'ejaculate'?" Gohan asked.

"Let me finish!" His cheeks were so hot that you could fry something on it. (A/N: sorry if that doesn't make sense I'm kinda in a hurry and I need a beta-reader. Any volunteers?) "The man ejaculates in side of her and his sperm swims to her eggs and voila; baby is made."

"Mommy has eggs, like a chicken?" Gohan asked laughing. "I was a chicken once?"

"What, no! Not like a chicken!" He said in exasperation. ~WHY ME! WHY DOES THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN TO ME? I WILL NEVER HAVE KIDS FOR THIS REASON!~

"I don't get it," The crazy-haired boy scratched his head in confusion. "Then if mommy has eggs, do I?"

"No, you are a boy! Only women have eggs! She carried you in her womb for nine months, then you were born."

"Let me get this straight." Gohan said as he turned onto his back to look up into the sky, there were allot of stars out that night. "Mommy and Daddy made love and his sperm swam to meet mommy's eggs, then I was created and I lived in mommy's womb for nine months?" He asked, Piccolo nodded in relief. "Where is mommy's womb?"

"In her stomach."

"Oh..." He said thoughtfully before turning to his friend again. "Thanks for telling me where I came from."

"No problem, kid." The Namek said as he wiped sweat from his forehead. ~Thank Kami that's over with!~ He smirked when he heard Gohan snoring softly. "If only you knew what that was like for me, kid."

~Thanks, Piccolo.~ Goku telepathed. ~I'm glad my son has someone he can talk to while I'm away.~

~Yes well...~ Piccolo started. ~I'd do anything for him.~

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A/N: Part two done. LOL! Poor Piccolo! I couldn't help but write this! Are there any other stories where Piccolo and Gohan talk about things like this? Or any of the characters? Please tell me what you think, review!

Shaynie *_*


	2. Goku's Turn

****

Fandom: DRAGONBALL Z

Series: No

Author/E-mail: Shaynie (GokunVegeta02@aol.com or goku_n_vegeta_02@aol.com)

Title: Eww! That's Disgusting!

Rating: PG-13 (to be safe.)

Characters: Master Roshi, Goku, Piccolo, Gohan, Vegeta, Trunks, Goten.

Summary: Some of the most difficult things in life can be the funniest as well.

Spoilers: A small reference to my other story "Piccolo's Apology". You don't have to read that first to understand this. 

Spoilers to the show: None that I am aware of.

Notes: None

Warnings: Discussion of sexual activities.

Part: 2/3

Archive: Fanfiction.Net, and to my site which is up. you can find it at http://www.geocities.com/goku_n_vegeta_02/

Thanks To: Everyone who reviewed "Piccolo's Apology." I hope you enjoy this one and please review as always.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in the Harry DBZ fandom. All

the rights belong to Akira Toriyama and Funimation.

============================================================

"Goku, Master Roshi called and said that he wanted you to be over there a half hour earlier than everyone else." Chichi called to her soon-to-be husband; they were getting married that night and she was so happy. "You should leave now."

"Okay, I'll see you later!" Goku called back, followed by the door slamming shut. The Saiya-jin took off into the air and headed to his old master's island, smiling.

***

~Get a grip now, Roshi.~ The old turtle-hermit thought as he paced back and forth in front of his house. ~You have a duty to tell him about these things. You told Krillin, you can tell Goku.~

"Master Roshi, I'm here!" Goku called as he touched down on the island. "Hey!"

~Look at him, so care-free... I wonder if he ever even thinks about these things..."

"You okay, Master, you look pale." Goku put his hand on Roshi's shoulder.

"Oh yes, I'm fine." Was his response. "Come inside, I think it's time we had a talk."

"Okay." The two walked into the small house and sat down at the kitchen table. "Is it about the wedding? You're still coming, right?"

"I wouldn't miss this for the world, son." Master Roshi said. "But what I want to talk about is just as important."

"Okay, what is it?"

"I'm sure you and Krillin have discussed this amongst yourselves, but I still want to make sure you know the facts." Goku looked confused. "You and Chichi are getting married and then you will go on your honeymoon an you'll be alone and-"

"Oh, I know where this is going!" Goku said brightly. "Chichi is a good girl, she won't do anything to hurt me."

"Are you really that dense, I'm talking about sex here!" The turtle-hermit said, his student blushed. "Haven't you even thought about that?"

"Well, kinda..." The Saiyan started nervously. "But I don't want to start a family right away; we're still young."

"That is what I wanted to talk about. I have something for you to use so you can make love and not worry about getting her pregnant." Roshi handed him a box of Trojan condoms. "You do know how to use them, right?" He asked hopefully, Goku nodded hesitantly. "Tell me how."

"I thought you knew!"

"I do, I just want to make certain you do!" Master Roshi handed him a banana. "Better yet, show me.

"Do I have to?" Goku asked, blushing even deeper.

"Yes," Goku put the condom on the banana like he was told to. "Leave room at the tip."

"Better?" He asked nervously, he couldn't remember ever being so embarrassed in his life, it looked like Roshi couldn't either.

"Yes, now you're ready."

"Can I ask you a question?" The Saiyan asked, looking up. "Is this going to be comfortable?"

Master Roshi's eyes widened in shock. "Uh well... Everyone's going to be here soon."

Goku watched as his old martial-arts master busied himself getting ready for his bachelor party. Goku smirked to himself; he knew more about sex than he had let on. He knew Master Roshi had felt a duty to educate him about safe sex, and he was glad to have someone who was like a father in his eyes, to do that; even if it was embarrassing.

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(A/N) That part wasn't as good as I wanted it to be because I couldn't put into words exactly how I thought Roshi would act (oh well). I hope ya'll enjoyed that. Pleas, please review! Next up is Goten and Trunks' sex talk... Lucky Vegeta! I was thinking about adding another part to this where Goku and Gohan talk, but I'm not sure. Does anyone want me to write the part?

Shaynie *_*

BTW: If you decide to review, please do it only once per chapter unless you forget to say something. Someone reviewed like six times and I was depressed (kinda) to see it was the same thing.


	3. The Interview!

A/N: Sorry about this part! Its kinds (ok way) fuck up! I had to clear my mind, now I shouldn't have to much trouble getting the next part of this out. But please review anyways!

Shaynie

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Me: Hello all, I'm Shaynie, and I am here today to find out how each person feels about their sex talk. Let's go over and talk to our first guests: Goku and Master Roshi.

Goku: Wow, are we on tv?

Master Roshi: What a ham! (points to Goku who's striking poses in front of the camera.

Me: Ah, Goku, can you come sit down so I can ask you some question?

Master Roshi: Goku!

Goku: Oh alright. (walks over and plops down next to his old martial arts master) Hiya!

Me: Hello! No Goku, tell us about your little talk with Master Roshi.

Goku: Well, um... I-

Me and Master Roshi: Did you learn anything?

Goku: Oh, yea! Master Roshi made me show him how to put a condom on, we used a banana, I think it was supposed to be the-

Me: giggles behind her hand.

Master Roshi: Goku, there is a lady in the room!

Goku: Um.

Me: Well, thank you guys. 

Goku and Master Roshi: waves

***

Me: Excuse me, is Piccolo around?

Gohan: He's getting water.

Piccolo: I'm here.

Me: I'd like to ask how your sex talk went.

Piccolo: W-what? How'd you know about that?

Gohan: Simple, Mr. Piccolo, she's the author!

Me: Hiya, I'm Shaynie!

Piccolo: So you're the one who made me tell Gohan about babies!

Me: Yep, but you know darn well you would have told him if he asked.

Gohan: You would, wouldn't you?

Piccolo: Well I- Oh fine, yes I would. Hmph!

Me and Gohan: Giggles

Gohan: (Hugs his friend tightly.) Thanks, Mr. Piccolo, you're the best!

Piccolo: Hmph, stop hugging me in public, kid! How am I supposed to take over the world if people see me going soft?

Me: Aww! But you two are so cute together! Well, that's it, I have to go interview Veggie, Goten and Trunks!

***

Veggie: (before I have a chance to greet him) Where's Kakarott? We're supposed to spar in five minutes!

Me: Uh, you'll have to take that up with him.

Goten and Trunks walk up and wave at the camera.

Trunks and Goten: Hi mom!

Me: You two are so sweet!

Vegeta: Hmph!

Me: So, was talking to your dad as bad as you thought, Trunks?

Trunks: What are you talking about?

Me: I'm talking about what you and Gohan did the other night.

Trunks: I'm not telling my dad that!

Vegeta: What's going on?

Goten: Me and Trunks looked up s-e-x on the computer.

Vegeta: You did what?

Trunks: We have to go! Come on Goten, out the back door!

Me: Well that was my good deed for the day everyone! C-ya! (watches in amusement as Vegeta chases after them.) Now, back to the story!

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A/N: LOL! sorry about this fucked up thing! I couldn't think of anything to write for the Trunks, Goten, Veggie part!

Please Review!

Shaynie *_*


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